What I thought would be a quick update of this blog’s database turned into a not so fun night of mucking around with its lovely innards. Turns out I didn’t have a recent backup of the blog’s template files, so I had to rejigger them to get all the more recent stuff, like avatars and tags to work again.
Technically I didn’t HAVE to, but I did for some reason. I think it’s good enough now, but if something’s fucked up, let me know.
There’s no point to this, I just like food and music.
BURGERS
Cazwell - I Seen Beyonce at Burger King
Electric Six - Down at McDonnelzz
Wesley Willis - Rock n’ Roll McDonald’s
HOT DOGS!
Dead Milkmen - Beach Party Vietnam
STEAK!
Rev. Horton Heat - Eat Steak
DORITOS
Bill Hicks - Artistic Roll Call
LOBSTER
B-52’s - Rock Lobster.
Now I don’t need to make my own content for you savages.
I love these wonderful science toys, but PHDs need to come up with snappier names. What’s wrong with “Humongous Helical Magnotron?” Van De Graaff-Osaurus would also jazz up the Museum of Science’s Theater of Electricity. Yikes! That website is almost old enough to vote.
While putting stuff together for this cartoon, I came across this hilarious faux Monster Truck Rally commercial:
And while I’m YouTubin’, here’s the Large Hadron Rap you might’ve seen around the nerdosphere:
Next Week: Sarah Palin Is Your Old Testament
There were a lot of honkeys on CSPAN this week.
Next Week: Monsters Scientific Apparatus Rally
McCain’s doing a fine job shooting himself in the foot in front of that Blue Screen of Death all on his own without you hippies belittling liberalism with 40-year-old publicity stunts.
That said, every time these jackboots chant “USA! USA! USA!” I imagine them chanting “BEEF SUPREME!” and it’s a little less embarrassing to share the same country with them.
These lame jokes aren’t worth wasting ink on, but blogging technology allows me to shove every shitty idea I have into your eyeholes. So please use your mind grapes and imaginate a cartoon McCain dancing seductively and singing Fergie’s “My Humps,” except he’s singing something about his lumps, his lovely cancer lumps.
Get it? He’s OLD, and SICKLY. And he picked a fucking loon to replace him should the sweet lord Jesus send him to God’s POW camp in the sky.
Also, Palin sounds exactly like a British person who’s mocking us.
She’s a younger, crazier, Harriet Miers.
I should’ve noted in my previous post about Ward Sutton’s fake cartoonist character Kelly that the non-fictional* Jen Sorensen of Slowpoke fame is also in Denver doing some excellent blogging for C-Ville Weekly. And Tom Tomorrow’s doing the same for the New Haven Advocate.
Which leads me to ask: Why didn’t The Phoenix send me? I can twitter as good as David Bernstein. There’s a notebook full of mile-high-club dick jokes I have to throw out now.
*As far as I know, Jen is a real person. She could be an elaborate Andy Kaufman-esque performance art piece, but she stayed in character even while crashing on my inflata-bed.
Hey guys and gals, my sister works at the MSPCA. And if that’s not enough to dazzle you, she’s walking, or jogging, or putting out fires or something for animals. I’m too busy illustrating dick jokes to know exactly what she’s up to. But it’s important.
Anyway, they’re having a fundraiser. Help my sis reach her goal and prove to all those other do-gooders that she’s the best and that they should all eat her shit.
I swear I already helped-out. I was just too confused by the form to fill out the bit that would make my AWESOME GENEROSITY public.
