Archive for the 'Some Guy With a Website' Category

"Brown Initiatives"

Monday, October 31st, 2011 by Some Guy With a Website by August J. Pollak

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So, I guess I’m getting sloppy in my years of trying to care about politics. Are we supposed to pretend that anything the right has said in the last week regarding “racism” against Herman Cain is genuine? It’s like they don’t even care how stupid they look any more, and how obvious their lying is. I’m torn between one of two options: either the right knows how stupid it is, and they just enjoy watching liberals be furious over, again, how stupid this is; or they really just don’t have any other response and this was, quite honestly, the best they could think of, stupid as it is.

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How to not write a story about assaulting someone

Friday, October 28th, 2011 by Some Guy With a Website by August J. Pollak

Reuters writes a lighthearted “oh those wacky celebrities!” piece on, umm, a celebrity physically assaulting a woman.

LOS ANGELES (TheWrap.com) – Omar Sharif sure is a stickler for manners.

The 79-year-old “Lawrence of Arabia” star got a little too hands-on with a female fan Thursday morning at the Doha Tribeca Film Festival in Qatar, slapping the woman when she cut in line for a photograph with him, TMZ reports.

The exchange occurred after the woman approached Sharif on the red carpet and asked for a photograph — despite the fact that there were other people waiting before her. Sharif didn’t like it, and instead of rocking the Casbah he yelled at her in Arabic to wait her turn before letting fly with a hearty slap.

Amazingly, the fan not only didn’t flee in terror, but stuck around to have her picture taken with the actor, plastering a smile on her face as if she hadn’t just gotten pummeled by one of the foremost actors of his generation.

Maybe she was collecting evidence?

Sharif has a history of hot-headed physical exchanges with strangers. He attacked a police officer in a Paris casino in 2003, and copped to misdemeanor battery in 2007 after brawling with a parking attendant in Beverly Hills.

So… umm…. the story is that a man just hit a woman. He hit a woman. In the face. Why are there attemps at jokes in this article?

I’m trying to figure out if Reuters just passed this off so lightheartedly becuase Sharif is a legendary celebrity, which of course means they are “allowed” to slap women or if it’s becasue the woman was Arab, which of course means she’s “allowed” to be slapped. Seriously, go ahead and read this article to yourself and imagine it was a black celebrity slapping a white American. Fox News would be wondering why there isn’t a warrant out for him.

"The Conservative Choice"

Monday, October 24th, 2011 by Some Guy With a Website by August J. Pollak

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Because there remains a spectacularly high number of people who think Herman Cain could actually be president, there remains an obligation on my part to point out that they are spectacularly high.

This week’s installment pays homage to Cain’s recent attempt to pretend that he doesn’t actually want to make abortion completely illegal, because that would upset sane people, by acknowledging that there are understandable exceptions to being against abortion in the real world, which upsets very crazy people. This is especially problematic for Cain since his core demographic is the very, very crazy, as evidenced by their belief he will be president.

But it’s also about a larger and more frequent aspect of conservative thought, which is that actually being a true conservative requires you to be a monster and most people actually aren’t. And so conservative voters have to go out of their way to pretend that they aren’t actually “pro-choice,” because that’s what awful liberals think: they just think government shouldn’t have the right to, umm, control people’s lives or something.

Cain later struggled to defend his total, 100% “end of story” opposition to abortion by insisting that there should be a Constitutional amendment banning it, which he would happily sign. You know, in a parallel universe where presidents actually signed Constitutional amendments. Your frontrunner, half of America.

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Makes us women and Batmen

Thursday, October 20th, 2011 by Some Guy With a Website by August J. Pollak

A somewhat healthy discussion on the level of misogyny in Batman: Arkham City made its way to MetaFilter today. I’ve been, let’s go with “psychotically obsessed” about getting this game for months and I’m about 8-10 hours into it since it arrived Tuesday. Consider the rest of this post a big spoiler warning but again, I haven’t played much of it either so I’m going with what I know so far. So please don’t email me anything with spoilers either unless you’d prefer to never have me read anything you write again. I also feel like I should point out, perhaps hypocritically, in advance that none of this changes that I love the game. I just feel like it’s a valid point worth highlighting and hope that mistakes can be corrected in the future.

To be honest, I didn’t really notice the main argument being raised here–that the word “bitch” flows like a comma throughout the game–and I imagine now it’s all I’m going to hear as I play it. Or maybe I won’t. I understand and appreciate the points being made here but while this comes off as a cop-out I really don’t see how anyone could have fully played a game that came out two days ago and carefully prepared a comprehensive feminist examination of the game based on its entirety. Myself included.

What I am seeing here, however, is an (understandable) assessment of the first few hours of gameplay and the previously-released promotional material for the game. For example, I only saw today a pre-release trailer that revealed Catwoman as a playable character and everything about it is more sexually evocative than the gameplay so far. The music, the ass close-up shots–they’re just not in the game anywhere to that extreme. I haven’t seen the “kiss, followed by body slam” move yet, but if that’s really in the game I’ll be surprised and kind of disappointed. It’s sexual marketing and I don’t mind if and when a handful of teenagers get disappointed.

That said, the constant “bitch” references are there. As are conversations between thugs throughout the game that have already gotten repetitive. Maybe it’s understandable in the sense of the plot (lots of criminals locked up in an abandoned city with little else to do) but man, do these guys talk about how they want to sleep with, or in some cases flat-out rape, Harley Quinn. They talk about it a lot.

I honestly see both sides of the argument here, which mostly boil down to “this isn’t necessary” and “that’s what evil rapists and murders would actually say.” And yeah, the truth is, “that argument” vis-a-vis there are also people in the game who murdered hundreds of people sort of still applies here. But as far as what I don’t like in the game in terms of sexualizing characters, it’s this:

I have reached the point in the game (it’s early on) where Harley Quinn first shows up. If you’ve seen any of the promotional material, you’d know she is wearing a different outfit than the first game, which itself was different from her original attire in the cartoon and comics. So the very first thing Harley Quinn says in the game–her very first line– is a comment about her own new outfit.

Which is the first thing she said in the first Arkham Asylum game. In other words, In both Arkham games, the very first thing they have one of the major villains of the game and perhaps at this point DC universe in general say is… “check out this outfit that shows off my tits.”

Now, you can ascribe the constant “bitch” talk to sloppy writing or following the same group of thugs for too long or any other combination of coding and laziness, but with Harley, this is just deliberate. Not a single other character in the game (or for that matter, the first game) takes time to point out they are wearing particular clothing or look different than how they might have looked in the comics. Batman’s suit gradually wears and tears throughout gameplay to show time progression, and no one mentions it. But it was apparently of vital importance to point out that Harley Quinn is now in skintight leather. I found this epically more misogynist and offensive to female gamers and fans of a previously-awesome female comic character than the concept of convicted killers and rapists not being sensitive to women.

A blasthole from the past

Thursday, October 20th, 2011 by Some Guy With a Website by August J. Pollak

Oh man, I was surprised to hear a name this morning I hadn’t heard in years, and that it was still a name attached to a gaping asshole.

So, my fun little Inside Baseball story: when Campus Progress (the nonprofit I used to work for in DC) first launched in 2004, one of the first things we did was try to promote a campus tour of a small documentary film made by Steven Greenstreet. We sent him to college campuses across the country to do a Q&A with students and put him up in hotels and expensed him. The relationship went sour when we started getting expense invoices back from him with hotel bills that included charges for pornographic movies. Then he called one of my female co-workers a “F___ C___” during a phone call. And that’s the last time anyone at a major progressive organization ever worked with Steven Greenstreet again.

"View: Paul"

Monday, October 17th, 2011 by Some Guy With a Website by August J. Pollak

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This week’s comic is in no way an endorsement of Ron Paul, who as noted in the first panel is a lunatic. I do however think he serves as a great example of the one-sidedness of the Occupy Wall Street coverage, which decided very quickly that left-leaning people plus cardboard signs equals let’s kick hippies on the teevee for a week and a half.

The coverage of OWS is akin to picking the craziest and most fringe of the Republican candidates and declaring that they universally embody the wide range of the leading thoughts available to primary voters. That is unfair to the diversity of the GOP field which actually offers a range, anywhere from “hate Mexicans” all the way to “hate Muslims.” Look, I realize that complaining that one bad apple pooping on one police car ruins the bunch is the shocked-that-gambling-is-going-on-here of the century, but when the media condescendingly asks “what are you protesting about?” and they get a coherent, educated answer, can they at least pretend they actually heard it?

Now some of you may argue that Ron Paul might not have been the best choice as a metaphor for the most crazy of the Republican candidates, but I figured it works because 1. Paul is all but ignored on television and 2. I’m pretty sure he’s okay with the idea of being an inappropriate symbol for something that probably doesn’t make much sense in the first place.

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It is not surprising these are people bad at math

Wednesday, October 12th, 2011 by Some Guy With a Website by August J. Pollak

Actually, You’re the 47 Percent.

Brilliant.

"Instant Memorial Cartoon iPad App"

Monday, October 10th, 2011 by Some Guy With a Website by August J. Pollak

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When Steve Jobs passed away last week my sphincter clenched in anticipation of the next four days of terrible, hackneyed “memorial” cartoons. It was especially nice to see the handful of cartoonists pretending to care so very much about him, but just not enough to know he’d been a Buddhist for decades and in fact made several speeches about how it guided his life and career and how imagining he’d be in front of St. Peter is even more ignorant than the standard fare of pretending there’s not only a Heaven but one that awards one of Christ’s most dedicated disciples with eternal ID checker duty.

The truth is, of course, that a dead celebrity is a free lunch for your hard-working syndicated cartoonist. With their careers slowly circling the drain over the collapse of the print industry and the stubbron refusal to observe that a hundred cartoons are now made a day for free that are better than 80-year-old jokes about the Pearly Gates, perhaps a way to streamline the “copy, paste, crying product logo” technique could keep them afloat a little longer. Or, I dunno, maybe they could stop drawing horrible cartoons.

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You can’t teach a Sneetch

Thursday, October 6th, 2011 by Some Guy With a Website by August J. Pollak

MoJo had an article last year about the plight of Tea Party die-hards. In this case it was people who were declaring themselves the “organizers” and “heads” of unofficial coalitions promoting Tea Party politics and in many cases specific people like Sarah Palin. These were people so obsessed with Palin that they honestly believed they could just get a “head start” on being part of a presidential campaign that didn’t exist, completely ignoring that all they were doing was taking all their money and setting it on fire. Here’s what I wrote a year ago:

I’m not being sarcastic here. I really do feel sorry for these people. I had friends who worked in DC on various Democratic election campaigns. They mostly found work, no matter who they worked for. Hillary people were offered jobs. Edwards people were offered jobs. It’s because they had contacts within DC and the campaign circle, and proven records of work for their organizations.

These people who think they’re the foot soldiers in a growing army are as deluded as the Sneetches and are going to end up just as broke, only instead of learning a valuable lesson about tolerance they’re just going to be angrier at minorities and gays and anything not white and evangelical. Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin do not give a shit about them, their finances, or their futures in any “movement” beyond selling their books. The GOP does not give a shit about them past November. Jesus, the entire GOP platform is based on these people not improving their lives so they stay angry about it. Have none of them figured this out? Or is the light from the podium just that powerful?

To co-opt an analogy made by Tycho of Penny Arcade, these people think they found Moses and are following him to a parking lot.

Last night I too hopped onto Twitter to gloat about Palin doing what everyone not living on a planet of their own creation knew for, literally, years at this point: deciding that making millions of dollars pretending to want to be president was a better plan for her than actually wanting to perform her curious definition of “help” on the little people. And let’s be honest here- there are armies of people who deserve their noses rubbed in this. There are people who deserve to have cosmetic surgery done for the sole purpose of having additional noses implanted just to have rubbed in this.

It turns out, though, that watching more people get kicked in the dirt isn’t really entertaining these days. Teabaggers are dipshits but I don’t think dipshits deserve to lose their homes because they were suckered by even bigger dipshits.

"Decision 2012: (Remainder of Title Spoils Joke)"

Monday, October 3rd, 2011 by Some Guy With a Website by August J. Pollak

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I realize this could be one of those moments I look back on in six months and feel very sheepish about, but I don’t think it’s likely. I’m not saying this like I’m bragging or anything but I sort of assumed that much of the 2012 primary was going to be the media looking for ways to pretend that one of two or three people wasn’t the obvious end result of weeding out the remaining crazies and/or opportunists in the Republican field. Romney just made it easier by being the only one of those two or three to even run in the first place.

The last week has been an embarassment for the media, and this is the media we’re talking about. Thousands of people are protesting on Wall Street and it’s completely ignored in favor of another hour of coverage about how Chris Christie saying he isn’t running for president might mean he is. Just… just stop, media. This is just sad.

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